


like real people do

by thoughquaking (xigithy)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sappy Shit, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 07:49:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20305993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xigithy/pseuds/thoughquaking
Summary: Though the years have driven a wedge between them, Axel still can't stand to see Saïx hurting- and he'll do whatever it takes to raise him back up.





	like real people do

Saïx _ lurks _ more now than he usually does. 

He’s still around the castle, sure: assigning missions, ordering the dusks around- the usual- but… there’s a reclusiveness to him lately that’s had Axel on edge for the better part of the last few weeks. There are whispers from the others about why Saïx has been so withdrawn- why he’s not been seen without his Organization hood up in several weeks; sneering conjecture from the scientists and annoyingly obtuse, yet somehow _ knowing _ assumptions from Xigbar, but it’s all just that- theories. But Axel knows none of them has any idea what’s _ really _ going on with Saïx, and the disquieting unease of not knowing the truth has all but consumed his every waking thought. An odd thing, given their lack of hearts and therefore, their lack of an emotional capacity for concern, but as Saïx often liked to remind Axel: the ties they shared before becoming Nobodies were an unshakable bond that tethered them together through their nothingness.

So maybe that’s why he’s decided to bite the bullet and check on Saïx properly. The sad truth of the matter is that no one else was likely to do it and, well… there’s an almost intrinsic need in his not-heart to make sure the Organization’s adjutant hasn’t totally gone off the rails. 

It’s nearly past midnight when Axel slips into the room from a Corridor- late, but definitely not the latest he’s ever paid a visit to Saïx. The other man frequently worked into the small hours of the morning, and so the odds were good that Axel would catch Saïx still bustling around, working on some boring thing or another. As he steps from the portal and it twists into itself, disappearing entirely with a soft warble, Axel is immediately taken aback by how _ dark _ the room is. Saïx liked to keep the small place well lit; in his past life, Lea would have attributed it to Isa’s love affair with the moon and its ethereal glow, but Axel knew better. Saïx usually kept the room bathed in the radiant glow of Kingdom Hearts as he poured over his mountains and mountains of paperwork, so the fact the room is now shrouded in a darkness so deep that Axel can hardly see a foot in front of his face is setting off alarms in his gut that he wasn’t sure still existed.

“Go away.” Saïx’s voice permeates the darkness, quieter and more soft-spoken than he normally speaks, and Axel can’t help but notice the alarming way the command sounds less a directive from a superior and more a pleading request from an old friend. “...Please.”

“Isa-” His old friend’s name spills from him before he can stop it. With a soft gasp, Axel touches a hand to his mouth- surprised that the name still tastes the same on his lips, even after all these years. Almost as if reading his mind, Saïx scoffs, though it’s void of the usual bitterness that accompanies the action.

“That sentimentality will be the death of you, you know.”

“I know,” Axel murmurs in distracted agreement, peering into the darkness as he shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other. He can just make out a person-shaped blob lying stiffly about where the bed would be and, with a sigh, he takes a hesitant step towards the mass. “You used to say the same thing when, well...”

“When we were friends,” Saïx finishes the sentence for him, an almost longing melancholy to his voice that seems to echo and amplify in the shadows. There’s the faintest rustling of fabric- Saïx turning in his bed to face him- Axel surmises, and then, “Why are you here?”

“I was _ worried _ about you.” The answer is immediate and Axel gives it without a second thought. He knows the path this conversation is going to take but, all the same, the redhead sits lightly on the edge of Saïx’s bed and lets the retort come.

“You don’t feel worry.” Hollow, empty- like the reminder is automatic; a response born of years of Organization brand dogma and not the sincerely held belief Saïx so often pretends it is.

“Well, then- I dunno...” Axel leans back onto his hands and he can feel the other body snatch himself away from Axel’s proximity- another small, but worrisome, red flag. “I guess I remembered that I _ should _ be worried about you.”

“I’m... fine, you needn’t worry.”

“Sai, you’re a _ terrible _ liar.” Axel tilts his head in the direction of Saïx’s voice with a soft laugh. “C’mon, what’s up? You’ve been moodier than normal lately.”

From the darkness, comes a slow, unsure inhale of breath, and Axel can practically hear the gears turning in Saïx’s brain as he, no doubt, tries to decide what to tell the other man about his behavior as of late. There’s a beat then, again, the soft shuffling of fabrics as Saïx sits up properly in the bed and grabs for Axel’s hand. 

“Wh-”

The hand that slips in Axel’s own is icy- more than is usual for the stoic Nobody- and as Saïx intertwines his fingers in Axel’s, the digits seem desperate to seek out and leech the heat from the redhead's body. Axel shifts, chest tight with a surge of anxious energy, and as Saïx pulls the warm hand flush against his frigid cheek, the looming sense of dread in the put of Axel’s stomach only heightens.

“I…” Saïx begins, his hand falling from Axel’s with a sigh. “Xemnas requested a sign of my loyalty to him- to the Organization. He-” 

Saïx cuts himself off with a hiss and, in an instant, Axel’s closed the gap between them, moving to sit closer to his former friend than he has in years. He swallows thickly, sensing the apprehension from the other man but, when Saïx doesn’t say anything, Axel holds a palm out and summons a tiny ball of fire between them. The orange flame, though small, dances lively in the palm of Axel’s hand and bathes the darkened room in a warm illumination. He holds the fire further up between them, and as the wisps of flames flit wildly before Saïx’s visage, Axel gets a clear view of what caused the pained noise from the other man. 

In the fire’s warm glow, Axel can see Saïx’s fingertips hovering mere inches from his face and- beneath them- a deep, burgundy scar that’s already begun to scab and heal over crossing the landscape of Saïx’s beautiful face. “_ Isa _!” Axel’s exclamation is a distressed, quiet gasp and he shakes the fire from his hand as he flies to cup his best friend’s face in the warmth of his grasp.

“I’m _ fine _, Lea.” The use of his Somebody's name stirs something in Axel- like an arrow piercing his chest cavity, right where his heart should be- and with a deep frown in the renewed darkness, Axel rubs a thumb softly along Saïx’s cheek as the other man continues. “It was my decision- the entirety of it. He was beginning to become suspicious and… we can’t afford to lose the progress we’ve made.”

The color drains from Axel’s face and, for the first time since entering the room, he’s glad for the blanket of darkness surrounding them. This… it was for her. He’d let Xemnas carve him up- to ** _brand_ ** him- for _ her _ . The guilt of the revelation is all-consuming; Axel had been hard at work himself, clearing the way to the top of the ladder for his partner in crime, but Saïx had to _ work _ with Xemnas; and, in all honesty, Axel isn’t sure which is worse.

Saïx shivers then, beneath Axel’s touch, and the trembling from the other man grounds him back in the present. His memories take over and, automatically, Axel climbs onto the bed properly, sitting beside Saïx and wrapping him up in his arms. The other man stiffens under Axel’s embrace, unsure of what to do with the sudden closeness of him, but the warmth radiating from Axel is a welcome reprieve from the freezing cold of blood in his veins; and every second that Saïx sits enveloped in the lanky arms seems to thaw the frozen, hollow cavity of his chest.

Axel can feel the soft, gradual relaxation from Saïx- melting incrementally further into his arms and, despite himself, he smiles and rests his chin atop the other man’s head. For a minute there’s only silence between them, comfortable for the first time in _ ages _, and as Axel lets his eyes fall shut he inhales deeply and lets the faint, sweet smell of Saïx’s hair dance around him. It reminds him of when they were young; when they were just two dumb kids who would stay up late, watching the stars, and how they always managed to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Something in the memory pulls at the echoes of Axel’s emotions, and before he can stop himself, he’s clearing his throat softly and speaking with a voice so tender that he’s almost sure it’s got the essence of true emotion behind it.

“Sa- Isa.” 

“Hm?” The hummed reply from the other Nobody is distant- sleepy in a way that makes Axel wonder if Isa had been actually dozing off in his arms. 

“I’m... sorry, I haven’t been here.“ 

Saïx doesn’t answer immediately and, for a moment, Axel is convinced that the other man has fallen asleep entirely. As he peeks open a singular emerald eye to check on Saïx, the other man shifts in Axel’s arms- twisting so that Saïx’s head is facing his own. Saïx cups an icy hand to the sharp curve of Axel’s jaw, and leans in to press a shy kiss to the redhead's lips. 

It’s over as soon as it starts and, as Saïx pulls back- just enough so that they’re parted- all Axel can do is blink at the other man and sputter.

“You’re here now.” Saïx runs a thumb along the soft skin of Axel’s cheek. “You’re always here when I need you.”

“D- do you?” Axel, still blinking dumbly at Saïx, takes the other man’s hand from his cheek and grasps it delicately in his own. “Need me, I mean.”

The only response he receives is the crashing of lips on lips as Saïx presses forward and catches Axel in another kiss. Where the previous one had been brief but tender and _ longing _ , the kiss Saïx leaves Axel with now is rough and _ needy _. Saïx kisses him hard, all teeth and tongue- a deep-seated craving in the way he sucks at Axel’s bottom lip and nips at it sharply. The redhead hisses at the initial pain of the bite, but it immediately gives way to a breathy moan as Saïx drags the tip of his tongue along the tender flesh.

Saïx repositions himself suddenly, expertly traversing the darkness between them, and swings a leg over Axel’s lap to straddle him. As Saïx settles against him, his icy hands fly to the zipper of the other’s coat and waste little time unzipping and pushing the leather aside, exposing Axel’s bare skin to the cool air of the room. A heartbeat’s time passes between them and before Axel can speak, Saïx is running his fingers up Axel’s lean chest, a loving familiarity in the way he traces every curve and scar on Axel’s pale skin from memory. As the tip of a finger follows the dip of his collarbone, Saïx leans in, pressing kiss after kiss down the line of his jaw.

“Isa,” Axel murmurs his name to the darkness, setting a hand lightly on Saïx’s thigh and squeezing it softly- a gentle call for the other man’s attention. “You gotta rest. You’re probably still in _ shock _ and y-”

The blue-haired man cuts him off sweetly, catching Axel in another soft kiss. As their lips move together- a gentle, intimate lover’s dance- Saïx cups his hand to Axel’s face and runs the pad of his thumb along the soft curve of his cheekbone. 

“_ Please _ .” Saïx pulls from their lips’ embrace and breathes the request to the other man, so softly that Axel’s sure his ears are playing a cruel joke on him. But as _ Isa _ touches his forehead to _ Lea’s _, a shaky sigh accompanying the movement, the redhead is certain that that’s not the case, and the hole where his heart should be seems to skip a beat. “I...need you. To remind me.

Remind him? Remind him of what, exactly?

Lea means to ask for the clarification, but Isa’s already moved on from the moment; dipping his head back down to Lea’s neck and sucking at his skin, softly at first, but with an increasing voracity that seems to send electricity through his entire being. There’s the soft grazing of teeth at the crook of his neck then and slowly, the hand cupping his face slide up, into the wild mess of red hair, and Isa tangles his fingers in the locks with a tug. Lea groans at the sensation and he can feel Isa smile against him. 

And the feeling of a faint smile- the glimpse of _ his _ Isa- is all the clarification Lea needs. 

With a more definite confidence, Lea runs his hands up Isa’s strong thighs and let them linger tantalizingly at the hem of his pants. The warmth of his fingertips brush lightly against the glimpse of bare skin, and the contact- basic though it is- pulls a shudder from Isa, who pushes himself away from Lea and makes quick work of removing the unnecessary barriers that are his coat and undershirt. Even in the darkness, Lea can feel the radiance of the other man, the physical perfection of him, and it’s all Lea can do to run his hands over every inch of Isa and relish in the way his cool skin compliments his own warmth. 

Isa wiggles against his seat on Lea’s lap, rolling his hips _ just _ so, and Lea snaps from his daydreaming- his attention suddenly hyper-focused on the brilliant friction between them. With a whine, he juts his hips upwards in response, his frustration rapidly growing at the too-many layers of fabric that still lie as barriers between their bodies. Isa only chuckles softly and grinds against Lea again, almost achingly slow and, as Lea gives another, more desperate whimper, Isa rolls off him entirely. 

“Isa!” Lea whines at the other man and doesn’t bother to hide the disappointment in his voice at the sudden departure of the weight of Isa from atop him. 

“Patience was never your strong suit,” Isa comments idly, the faint makings of humor skirting the edge of his voice. Lea can feel the jostling of the bed brought on by Isa’s movement, and it takes him almost _ too _ long to realize that the other man only rolled off him so that he could remove his clothes.

“Yeah well… you always had enough for the both of us-” Lea smiles to himself in the dark as he follows Isa’s example, shedding the remaining articles of clothing on his person and tossing them haphazardly to the floor. “Always kinda figured you’d pick up my slack.”

“As it ever was.” He can hear the distant smile in Isa’s voice, and the realization of how very _ human _ he is in this moment warms Lea to his core. Isa hums thoughtfully and a second later, his chilled hands are reaching for Lea again, fingers wrapping softly around his forearm and pulling gently, beckoning Lea to him.

Lea obeys and, in an instant, he’s up and feeling his way around in the darkness towards Isa. Slender hands reach out, feeling for the other man until, finally, cool skin brushes against his. He positions himself a little less awkwardly, gently nudging Isa’s knees apart and crawling up between them. The anticipation of their union already has him half-hard, but the way Isa hooks a leg around him, pulling Lea as close as physically possible, stirs a yearning in him that still manages to take him by surprise. 

Isa grinds his hips up towards Lea’s pelvis, calling to him- begging for him- and the redhead has to draw on every ounce of self-control in his being to not plunge right into Isa then and there. Lea rolls his hips back against Isa, slow and teasing, and he can feel Isa’s body tense with anticipation as he lets out a whimper in the form of Lea’s name.

“_ Shh _,” Lea leans into Isa, pressing a quick kiss to the other man’s temple. “Lemme take care of you, okay?”

A nod is the only response he receives and as he presses another kiss to Isa’s lips, the other man relaxes his grip on Lea, allowing him room to move freely. Now Lea is the one skillfully traversing the dark, kissing and kissing and kissing at Isa as he moves down until his face is buried snugly between his thighs. Lea wastes no time- patience isn’t his strong suit, after all- and runs a singular finger along the length of Isa’s cunt, marveling in the slickness that’s already formed there. Absently, he raises the finger to his lips and licks the wetness from it, taking in every note of salty-sweetness in it and trying desperately to commit the taste to memory. Isa squirms and as his deft fingers tangle themselves back in the mane of red hair, Lea’s trance-like state breaks, and he returns his full attention to Isa. 

He nudges his finger back against Isa’s slick entrance and can’t help but smile as the other man arches his back with a whine. Lea presses into him, slowly and deliberately, while simultaneously lapping his tongue against the already swollen bud of his clit. Isa shudders and Lea takes the shaky exhale as encouragement; he begins to thrust his finger in and out of Isa, each plunge of the slender digit in time with the dance of his tongue.

He settles into a lazy pace, slower than Isa probably cares for, but each worshiping movement of Lea’s tongue is so intentional and calculated that he figures Isa hardly minds. 

“You’re _ ah- _ you’re a mess,” Isa laughs softly between groans, and it takes Lea a minute to work out that the shuddering statement is a teasing barb. He always said Lea’s technique was sloppy- always liked to tease that the wetness between his legs was often more Lea’s saliva than arousal, but the needling never lasted longer than the time it took Isa to get lost in his own pleasure. Lea adds another finger, slipping it effortlessly into the wet warmth of Isa’s cunt, and curls the things against him, eliciting a ‘ _ fuck’ _ from the other man and a grin from Lea. 

Before too long, the fingers still entwined in Lea’s hair begin to tighten and Isa’s breathing begins to come in short, quick gasps. He rolls his hips against Lea’s face, pacing quickening to a frenzied speed, and every thrust of fingers into Isa earns the other man a moan like music to his ears. He’s close, and Lea wants- _ needs- _ so badly to bring Isa to completion, but... he doesn’t want this to end. For them to finish and return to their lives; return to just being bodies passing in the hall, rather than friends- _ lovers- _ whatever they are at this moment.

Isa moans out Lea’s name once more, but rather than pushing himself towards the source of his pleasure, Isa tugs at Lea’s hair, pulling him away. The confusion from the redhead is palpable and as Isa strokes a hand gently against Lea’s cheek he whispers to him, a barely audible confession. “I want _ you _.” 

In a flash Lea is repositioning himself, pushing his slender weight up between Isa’s legs and, for the first time since they’ve begun, he becomes acutely aware of the nagging insistence of his own arousal in the pit of his stomach. Isa, it would seem, is also very much aware of it, as he grabs for Lea’s cock as the other man presses his body to Isa’s and guides the head of it to his wet, inviting entrance.

It takes the span of a breath for Lea to push himself fully into Isa, his breath hitching at the encompassing warmth that hugs him entirely. Isa feels so warm and wet, and goddamn _ good _ , that Lea wants to slam into the other man- to fuck him endlessly and mercilessly until they’re both only writhing puddles on the mattress, but the way Isa arches his hips _ just _ so, the way he sighs when Lea enters him- so sweetly it’s as music to Lea’s ears, the way he reaches a hand out to run a gentle touch along Lea’s jawline… it reminds him that this particular encounter isn’t about him.

That thought alone is what drives Lea’s slow, steady pace; his singular desire to make Isa feel good drums a beat in his heart that Lea matches in his thrusts. As the sun sets to the rising of the moon, so too do the pair move together in tandem, each arched back or lunging of hips a brilliant accompaniment to the other’s fluid motion. The harmonies of their bodies and panting are a symphony to Lea’s ears and each intimate touch between them, each moaning of the other’s name, drives him closer to the edge that he so desperately wants Isa to come tumbling from first.

“You’re so beautiful right now.” The confession, murmured into the crook of Isa’s neck, pours from Lea between short, shallow breaths and although it’s entirely genuine, he can feel the way Isa seems to freeze momentarily at the sound of it.

Isa reaches absently to touch the bridge of his nose, a short huff escaping him as he touches the wound on his forehead. “I’m anything but.”

“Isa, you’re gorgeous- _ radiant _.” Lea slows the movement of his thrusting to nearly a crawl, unable to bring himself to a complete stop. Using one arm to support his weight, he grabs for Isa’s hand with his free one and brings it to his face, pressing a lingering kiss to the other man’s palm. “You always have been. Nothing’s ever gonna change that in my eyes. You’re always gonna be the moonlight of my life.”

He half expects Isa to throw the cheesy line back in his face- to make some comment about how clinging to sentimentalities from their past lives was what made him weak... But he doesn’t. Isa is silent for a long moment, and Lea can feel the metaphorical cogs turning in the other man’s brain until finally:

“...and you’ll always be the sun in my sky.”

Lea’s not-heart skips several beats, and it’s all he can do to not stop everything to shower Isa in kiss after kiss. But the other man hooks his legs around Lea again, insistently pulling him forward with those strong muscles, and the redhead thinks it better to oblige him. Lea untangles his hand from within Isa’s and slips it down between them, brushing a thumb against the throbbing clit of his partner. Isa whimpers at the contact and reaches clawed hands to Lea’s back, dragging his nails down the freckled skin as Lea begins to rub small circles around the bundle of nerves. Isa’s so close now he can feel it, and each deep thrust from Lea into him brings another whine from Isa that’s like honey on his lips. 

“_ Lea… _” The name comes, shaky and heady, from Isa and the single syllable serves as all the direction Lea needs. He quickens his pace, plunging into Isa almost desperately, and the hand at the other man’s clit works deftly against it. 

“You’re doing _ so _ great, baby- come for me.”

With one last thrust from Lea, punctuated with a kiss to Isa’s forehead, the other man finally comes, soft and gentle and- where there would usually be wave after wave of hot-blooded ecstasy, there’s instead only the soft swell of warmth throughout his body and the euphoria of relaxing muscles and tensions as he whispers Lea’s name over and over again in the dark. And maybe it’s the absolute adoration in the way Isa sings out his name, or- more realistically- the sensation of Isa clenching tightly around him as he falls from the edge, but it’s not long before the tightening of Lea’s belly takes him over and he comes too, shuddering hard as he releases, still buried deep within Isa.

As the waves of their orgasms ebb gently back into nothingness, Lea collapses against Isa, panting hard as he rests his head against the other man’s chest; he can almost feel the pounding of Isa’s heart in the confines of his ribcage, almost hear the deep beating of a thing that isn’t supposed to even exist within them. Lea draws in a deep breath, bracing himself for the chastising that will likely follow his comment but, before he can get the words out, Isa is whispering to him, his now warmed hand reaching up to pet the fiery locks of the other.

“...thank you.”

“‘Course.” Lea grins against Isa and moves his head just enough to press another quick kiss to the salty skin of the other man. “Wait- for what?”

“For reminding me.” 

“Reminding you,” Lea echoes, and- recalling Isa’s plea from earlier- he shifts a little, moving so that he can peer into the dark at Isa. “Of what exactly?”

Isa only chuckles once, pausing the stroking of Lea’s hair to offer a gentle scratching of his scalp. “Of what it’s like to have a heart.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an art trade on twitter; thank you again for being so patient with me :')


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